Shreding roads, sad stories and living

 Hello again..

Hue is a nice town, an ancient citadel sits on one side of the river and bullet damage can still be seen from the war but apart from that it doesn't offer much. The Danes and I planned to move onto Hoi An via the Hai Van pass, made famous by Top Gear. Exiting the dorm room after a shit nights sleep due to 2 douchebags entering in the early hours of the morning and me having a cold shower because I forgot to switch the hot water on, we were greeted with that type of weather that is neither mist nor rain. One of the babes working at the hostel said it would stay like that all day. I had purchased a large jacket but sacrificed that for my bag, and using my 'you only get wet once' theory we left, I'm just rocking shorts and a rain jacket while the Danes are full kitted out. Was all good for 10min but then the rain came. Due to the waterproof nature of my jacket all the water would run off onto my shorts. Emergency stop had to be made, 20c full length poncho purchased, light green polka dot. Once again I was looking like a fuckwit. Drove for about 40min dodging bus and trucks and potholes. Rain eventually gave way as we headed to the beginning of Hai Van. Hue is on one side, Da Nang on the other and it could be best described as if the Southern Alps were to go out into the ocean between Timaru and Oamaru. Huge mountains with beaches at the bottom.

Hai Van in the distance

Hai Van pass so I'm told kills and injures 2000 people a year because Vietnamese favorite pastime of blind corner passing mixed with a mountain road is deadly. Lucky for us a tunnel had to be built under the mountain to reduce deaths. This leaves the road pretty much empty. Crossing the centre line to get the perfect line through the corners was going hard. Had to watch out for the odd truck, ones that carry gas can't go through the tunnel. Apart from that it was such an amazing road to ride, passing the hundreds of Buddha shrine thingys to mark deaths made us feel very privilege to ride this with minimal traffic. Felt like a road from a Playstation game or something. 180" steep hairpins, easy bermed corners, long straights. Could ride that pass for a week. Usually its really misty but the sky's opened for us and we had good views along the coast of the South China Sea. Jeremy Clarkson and Co do a better job of describing it than me. Its one of the best coastal roads in the world he says. Watch the whole video, I have also had a experience like the leaf bag. My lights broke, so a piece of rubber from a shoe now holds the electrics in place so they work.  (From about 2 minutes 50 onwards in Hai Van if you are short on time, we stopped at the same spot to view that bridge also)

Arriving at the top, craved some Pringles worth 40000. Gave the lady 500000 dong (30ish NZ) was high rolling, had no small notes I got given 10000 change (60c) thought she could catch me out by me not realising the extra 0 and scam me. Lost my shit again as she wouldn't give my note back. Thieving bitch. Had to get physical reaching into her pockets. Swearing resulted. Eventually got money back but in different notes from her family members. She didn't want to let up she had been caught out.
So next time you go to Hai Van pass don't buy from the first shop. Ended up going hungry. But got some noodle soup in Da Nang, population over 1 million but seemed empty.

Hai Van

Now noodle soup or pho as it's called here. Why do I keep buying? See you have to buy water here due to bacteria and poor water quality. And that's an unnecessary expense to me. I'm not one of these people who is constantly sipping on a fucking Pump bottle and going to the toilet every ten minutes. Such a craze at the moment to drink water. Whats with that? Lets go to the library and sip water. Anyway you kill 2 birds with one stone. You get food (noodles, mystery meats, vegetables etc) then you can drink the soup water and there is usually heaps in a bowl. And for 1.50 it dirt cheap. Where was I? Yes Da Nang aka China Beach aka beach that Americans went swimming at during war. So famous. We rode along the water front to Hoi An some 15km away. Driving past countless hotels and resorts. Some absolutely massive. But no cars in the car parks. Once again an over supply. With no building code, cheap labour investors can pop up a multiple storey hotel quickly. Visual pollution to the extreme. Road was nice though, double lane, new asphalt. We were chilling well above the speed limit to Hoi An.

Pho, Noddle soup. All that for $1.25 including salad.

Arriving in Hoi An and we did the usual. Got lost trying to find accom. But found it eventually. Had a nap. Then headed out for dinner, then to get some clothes tailored (Hoi An there is 600 tailor shops) pumping out tailored clothing for very cheap prices. I wasn't getting anything, too Jew and don't want to lug a suit around. Then some casual drinks, then a bucket, then more drinks, then drinking games, then new bar that offered free drinks. This bar was mean, get given a vivid to write on the walls. Nice to see All Blacks written on the roof, get creative and write 'Olly Manson 2011 Nekk minnit' drunkenly everywhere, classic tag. Got to chose the music as well via youtube. Few euros were there so euro trash playing hard. I play the song that is pure musical brilliance and will get any party started, Britany Spears - Till the World Ends (Ke$ha Micki remix) Goes down like a lead balloon and more euro trash resumes. Now Vietnamese are crafty people. A pool table was the centre price of the room, few locals playing around, they are all playing crap. I bet one of them easily. Then money gets thrown on the table. Having been eying these players up for a while it's my chance to make some coin. 100000 goes on the table from me. Then I realise I've been had. I get rolled, sink one ball while he goes on the clean up in 3 goes. We ask him how long he had been playing on this table (for non pool players knowing the table is essential, how far the ball rolls, how well it bounces, what is the best cue yadda yadda yadda) 10 years, it's pretty much his job. On a good night he will make 2 million dong off westerns so $125nz, not bad considering a lot of the population would be on sub 5 bucks a day. Stumble home at 3am with Danes, rise at 1pm the next day, achieve absolutely nothing. Have a great meal that night, wonton soup, shrimp spring rolls, rice noodle/pork Vietnam specialty and a Beer for $5. Try beat that McDonalds with your shitty McValue options. God I love that exchange rate, this was also quite a flash restaurant. Would be my last normal meal for 5 days. Leave the next day for Kon Tum in the central highlands some 300km away. Off the tourist trail somewhat. Not really here to do the classic tourist trail, all full with it's gemicy bullshit and be surrounded by fanny pack wearing, loud, over the top American assholes.

It's not raining in Hoi An but still gear up in my Vietnamese style clothing, rain jacket, freshly purchased rain pants (xxl size but still too small) and jandals. Great footwear for motorbiking. Bid farewell to the Danes, we shall be Facebook friends soon no doubt. With in 10min its raining. This wouldn't stop for 5 hours. Roads flooded. But nothing beats that feeling of riding a motorbike through a massive puddle and producing a wave out the back. I soon learn that my semi expensive waterproof jacket is not as it claims. It can deal with NZ rain but not the power of Vietnam rain, had to buy a 20c poncho which is waterproof. Get what you pay for philosophy has been thrown out the door. Already soaked through my 4 layers though. Share some of my fried banana chips with the shop lady and get myself a free hot green tea for my troubles. Begin to assault a mountain pass not even on the map. It's big. 1 hour of constantly going up. Passing through native jungle and by huge waterfalls. See 2 freshly crashed trucks. Guts. Gets colder. Feet feel the full brunt of the cold. Cheers jandals. View would have been amazing but visibility is poor due to rain. Have a break by a waterfall and meet a Vietnamese couple also touring by motorbike. The wife takes constant photos of me. I leave. They catch up, more photos. Lose them again. See them at petrol station. More photos. WTF. Classic women wearing soaked tight jeans and high heels. Rain has resided on the downward ride and I experience sun for the first time in 8 days. Cloudy Vietnam.

Mystery Pass in the distance once I had been through it

Soon dry out and so does road allowing me to cut loose speed wise. Terrain now consists of ordered rice paddies, sugar cane and rubber plantations all on the steep hillsides. Stop for peanuts, yarn to these kids and gave them peanuts. They looked hungry.

Carry on, give the odd teenage boy race a drag, dodge numerous corner cutting buses and trucks. Stop for noodle soup, was getting thirsty. All this is just from the street kitchens. Always tastes better than restaurant crap. Again has really strange meat. Eventually make my way to a town I thought was Kon Tum. Drive up and down looking for a specific street with accom, towns here don't have signs here saying 'Welcome to blah blah', and towns may have their French colonial name, Vietnamese name or new Vietnamese name (in south Vietnam now, they lost war so the North renamed towns) this just adds to issues. But now I have discovered how to know what town you are in. The school kids jackets have the name of the town on the bottom. Will make life easy from now on as long as its a school day. So yes wrong town. So move on 20k down the road, find accom. Been a long day, left 8.30am arrived 5pm. Friendly town, all the kids saying hello and testing their English. $1.50 rice and assorted other stuff for dinner.


Decided to visit one of the many orphanages in the area in the morning. Vinh son 1 - 6. The surrounding hills are home to many ethnic minority groups with 53% on the Kon Tum district minority groups, the government doesn't really see them as Vietnamese citizens so government systems such as healthcare and education struggle to reach them. And their alliance with the South and Americans during the war further increased their problems. With no foot hold in the economic market they are very poor and work extremely hard on the mountainous terrain they are forced to live on. The government offers no support to the Vinh Son orphanages (but do to Vietnamese ones) so donations and the amazing work done by the sisters of Miraculous Medal are what keep the wheels turning. Most of the children are not orphans by the definition, but their parents cannot support them. They are either handed in or found on the side of the road where they have been left to starve. Extreme cases are newborn babies where the mother has died post labour, the father has no way to feed the child so letting it starve is the option chosen or bury alive with mother. Some of the orphanages are in town that are semi well off due to tourists and the town providing. Me being me I go to the one furthest away with vague instructions, Vinh Son 5. East from town, over the swing bridge, left at the fork, right down first dirt road, over culvert 200m on left. Over shot it first time, 100m would be more like it. Before leaving I stocked up on gifts, literally brought a whole banana tree for $10 and got some coloring pencils, paper some books including a Roald Dahl classic in Vietnamese of course.

Loaded up

The orphanage is a series of small buildings, no windows and very basic design set in a dry dusty paddock. Get greeted with a soccer ball off the back and play with the kids. The thing that got me the most was staring into their eyes and guessing what life story they could tell, yet none would know theirs. Their life has been this orphanage. Most would have no idea who their parents are, where they are from, when then birthday is or who they are. Its an eye opener for sure. And pulled on the heart strings. Yet they know no different and their bubbling happy faces mask the sad truth. Get myself a wee guide called Mee, shows me around asking how old I am, through the 20 crammed bed dormitories, run down kitchen, out the back to find my first crying child.

Mee, top girl

With 90 children from new borns to 18+, some mentally ill it's a lot to keep track of for the few sisters that work there. (don't get paid) quite often see the older children looking after the youngsters.  I attempt the standard squeezing hand, rubbing head combo to no avail. The issue however as I soon discovered was he had managed to completely crack his finger nail at the base somehow, this left me to remove 3/4 of his finger nail. Not pretty! Only a toddler who couldn't speak. Probably an A&E job NZ standards. Searched for some clean water to wash the dust out, that took a while. Then a bandage which apparently he was lucky to get.

Somewhat happy patient, with a bandage

After 18 they should leave the orphanage, however its hard to step out into normal society so many remain as helpers. They are all such good natured people, testament to the sisters work. I then meet Theresa who had just arrived and like her name would suggest she is a saint. Having been through the Vinh Son 1 orphanage as a child she now runs Vinh Son 5. Her mobile ringtone becomes engrained in my mind as she constantly get calls to sort out supplies for the children. She is very pleased to see me and asks how I even found the place. Not many westerners visit. I dabble in teaching some kids numbers, mainly the ones after 10 and colours in the small classroom.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, in the classroom

Another motorbike pulls up with a French couple doing a 1 month stint volunteering here. We get given the task of decorating a room for Xmas.

My mobile Christmas Tree

Lunch time

Roaming around, by himself, just able to walk.

Trying to teach how to use a camera

Put some of my electrical skills to use and fix some of the broken fairy lights for them. Lunch gets served for us, didn't eat much. Felt a bit strange eating lunch at a orphanage when I'm sure the kids go hungry sometime. End up giving the kids what they so dearly miss so much all afternoon and that is attention. Quite a workout constantly lifting up kids and having them climb all over you in the sweltering heat. Become pretty skilled at stopping children cry also, it's painful to see a child crying alone with no comfort. My planned 1 hour visit in the morning shot way overtime as I leave at 4.30pm. Teresa wants me back but my visa expires soon so have to keep heading south. Even just for one more day she begs.  I slip some money into pocket for the children and then receive an offer from her to come have dinner with her family at her home around the corner. I can't really refuse. Lovely meal, lovely location, she even gives me a wrapped Xmas present. The only one i'll be getting this year. Saint.

Meal

20 bed dorm, concrete floor behind. This one loved being lifted into the air

We then head to a Christmas concert put on by an aid agency for the children, lucky night to be in town. 800 orphans are there. It once again was an eye opener seeing so many displaced children with no loving parents. Most just stare at you with that endless gaze. Singing and dancing till 10pm, and a patriotic Vietnam dance probably added by the government, it got the least applause. No wonder. Thank Teresa. I got more out of this day than she could ever imagine. Aren't we lucky back home to not live in these circumstances.

Saint Teresa

I head home, 300km ride tomorrow morning. Yay.

If you are ever in Vietnam I high recommend doing what I did, just follow those rough directions. Sure beats gawking at some temple or buying some fake raybans like most tourists

Set off the next day at 8.30 for a pretty plain long ride, the area was heavily agent oranged during the war so there isn't much natural flora and fauna. It's mainly just endless rubber plantations, propaganda communist billboards and small towns like Ashburton with not much going on.

Nice binoculars bro

Roads are fairly busy due to the high agricultural practices in the area. So that's more getting barged off the road onto the dusty side road due to trucks. Get lost in the first major town. It should be a one street town, but no the fuckwit town planner thought it would be a smart idea to throw some t intersections into the mix, unsign posted of course. Dick. Saw the remains of a motorbike post crash with truck. When the road is badly potholed it forces all the traffic to run through the area of road that has the smoothest surface forming a bottle neck. Pretty much a gauntlet, being wedged between a bus and a tractor woke me up. The bottleneck causes shiiit to go down.


They really need to splash out on better asphalt. Realise police turn a blind eye to foreigners, I overtake some guy and he soon gets pull over and ticketed for speeding by the camouflaged policeman. If he was speeding then so was I. Often forget there even is a speed limit, having no speedo helps. It's suppose to be 5km/h around road works which there are a lot of (but still bad roads) and I'm yet to see someone go that slow. Pho for lunch. Get a flat tyre, 50m from a mechanic. Lucky... They are everywhere with 'Hon Da' painted onto their houses. Then begins to drizzle. Temperature also drops so put on my vinyl/tarpaulin material rain pants. Rain pants in NZ would be breathable and made from technical nano fibers and shit, but not mine. Their budget non breathable trait was actually rather nice as they heated up and felt sooo good. I'm beginning to think cheap Asian rain gear will out perform expensive stuff any day. But you aren't going to pull in you gin and juice vomit green poncho and dark blue 3/4 rain pants. Never. Only ever really drizzled.

Got lost again in a big city. Buon Ma Thout, same size as Quakechurch. Ask locals directions in sign language, although they use the same alphabet pronunciation is very different, eg Buon Ma Thout is said Boonmetho. Taxing when trying to find somewhere. Round about with no sign lead to this debacle. Classic town planner gag. The further south you get the more communism is forced into your face, the sickle and hammer draped off every lamppost. Sun came out as I passed over a small mountain pass into yet more paradise. Lush wheat grass feilds, organized rice paddies.

Towards Lac Lake, standard road obstacle ahead

Now I have become skilled at dodging every variety of animal but today was the day where even my lightening fast reflexes couldn't stop the inevitable claiming a victim. A child was throwing sticks at a particular animal (some will find this bad taste and a sad story but the animal hit makes a woof sound) it runs out onto the road, I'm going 60 if I hold my line I'm going to hit it smack in the body. This would also cause a mess for me as well. Swing hard to the left, it still keeps running and bang, head to rear brake pedal. Gone. Feel horrible but dogs here aren't seen as pets so no family will be mourning the loss. Past is the past and couldn't do anything to prevent it but tried my best. All happened too quickly. Yeah not good. Life on the death roads.

Make my way to Lak Lake, Ho Lak, Lien Son, Huyen Lak (all the same place). Find accom, actually have no idea where i am. Found wifi, its a reasonably big town with a grid network of roads but doesn't even show on googlemaps. Entering it from an unknown lane didn't help. Going to practice my sign language for 'where the hell am i?' for when leaving tomorrow. This usually involves pointing at the ground then a map. So far its success rate is very low. Head for a feed. Rice pancakes at a street kitchen. Yum yum (actually) ask for some chicken breast in the pancake. That gets lost in translation and I'm left with half a goose. Chopped into 6 with a meat cleaver. Juices sprayed on me. Again not too bad when you actually find meat in the maze of bone, tendons and skin. Place has a soft bed, probably the only one in Asia. Sweet. Leave for Da Lak tomorrow, back roads. There is a suspicious gap in the road, and it looks mountainous on the map hence why I'm taking it. Still has a few villages peppered on it in case the bike decides to shit out.

Next morning had by far the worst noodle soup, tasted shit and had heart/liver in it and a half hand size piece of pig fat. Nuked it with chilli and lime cause I was hungry. Turns out my accommodation was actually on the main road. After attempting to ask in English I just write it down and they understand. No real idea how I made it here. Leave for a short ride today, sub 180km but with that 'scenic route' route planned.

Driving Bliss

Lak Lake in the distance to the left

Nice day today, not to hot or cold and the roads are nice with minimal traffic. Eventually hit the T junction where I get onto the 'scenic route'. Starts off nice, hit another unsign posted junction, pull out the ipod touch and point where I want to go and I get given a point down a road. This was so far the most untouched place commercially and economically I have been with inhabitants. House built with traditional bamboo, single room of course. Naked babies running around, woman in their ethnic clothing all very surprised to see a westerner as I'm sure non would be as stupid to attempt this road. Didn't take any photos and didn't want to disturb and become a true tourists pulling a camera out of a fanny pack every 2 minutes. Now its marked on google maps as highway 722, and there was a gap in the road where it crossed a river. There should be a temporary bridge during the dry season I thought. Headed towards it, the road slowly becomes swallowed by the surrounding vegetation. Then I hit the river.

God damm, road is where I am standing.

Yup no way across there.

I have to go 4wd-ing through the river, well 2wd-ing. Measure the river depth with a ruler (a stick) to see if I can get through with out getting the bikes electricals wet, just a few centimeters in it. Take my shoes off and just floor it through, surprising complete my first river crossing on a wannabe dirt bike. Wade back over the river, stupidly put my shoes back on, then realise I can't get over without getting them wet so take them off again. Mega tax when in the ground is sandy. The road continues to be swallowed then I hit this.

Got over

Road slowly being eaten

There are still the red and white posts which mark the side of the 'highway'. No way in hell is a car getting up here. I get halfway up, bike struggles as I walk next to it flooring it is 1st. No use, too steep and give up on that road and have to return to the main road, waves from people in every direction in the villages I pass through once again. Need to come back with a proper bike one day, who knows whats up there.

As far as I got

Back on the main-ish road, gets rough, sharp rocks litter the surface but no flat tyres. Road gets rough, gets smooth, gets rough, gets smooth for kilometers on end. But great views. Head up another mountain pass into a whole new valley. Coffee plantations everywhere, Vietnam is 2nd behind Brazil in production so that latte you are sipping on right now will more than likely have some Vietnam beans on it from the area I have just traveled through. Small world.

Textbook photo of a bottleneck, wrong side of the road, blind corner, hitting it with pace. Beautiful stuff

Motorbike underneath all that crap

Coffee Coffee Coffee

Stop for noodle soup in the most scenic eateries I have seen so far.

Under that tree on the horizon was the eatery

Lady speaks pretty good English and laughs at how I pronounces the towns, no wonder everyone stares at me blankly when I ask. She gives me the offer anytime to come back and learn Vietnamese. GB. And I learn how to say chicken, beef and rice as well as the place I'm heading to tomorrow.

Take my jacket off for the first time riding since the 10th of December. Its actually hot enough for once. Doesn't last long though and its back on within 20min.

Continue on to the town Da Lak, by far the best entry road into a town, straight up a winding hill and baam you a greeted with a french colonial town. Could be in the French Alps if there was snow. A resort town built by the french when they ruled Indochina. Was an alternative to the hot hot hot coastal towns. Get soooo lost, unsign posted streets are enough but one ways, traffic, hills and a small scale map in Lonely Planet thats show the cheapest accom to be on a side street not a main road just make it hell. 40min driving around, eventually find a guy who speaks English, does 'Easy Rider' tours, powerful motorbike and drives tourists around for a day or numerous days. Freelance tour guide. As I talk I'm standing 20m from the accom I want. Driven past it 4 times. FML. The town is a Vietnamese honeymoon spot so heaps of gay lovey crap going down. Head to the market, the smells of the meat and fish areas induces gagging, the food court is a minefield of potential disease and there is more fake designer clothing than you could point a stick at,  so leave. And accomm has a computer so I put this together.

300km to Ho Chi Minh City, its nearly all over (maybe)

My favourite (everyone has one) Matching bracelets also thanks to her

My reg paper/card for the Honda, from now on I'm known as Ta Quang Sy, and I live at Cung Thuong Binh dinh Yen Lac.

update:

Have roughly worked out the distance traveled so far: 2832km according to Google Maps. (not including petrol runs, getting lost and going off the road for something) so make it 2900km Will nearly be double what I thought it would be once done.

Not bad Honda Wave 100 not bad, still haven't caused me any issues. And no you won't be getting you recommended oil change for every 500km traveled, still.